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Why Men Love Ghetto Girls by Claude Mills Featured

Entertainment News Written by  Claude Mills Monday, 19 March 2012 02:43 font size decrease font size increase font size 0
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BEENIE MAN is the deejay responsible for one of the most spectacular lies of the 1990s. He skewed Jamaican public perception through the hit single, 'Slam' - a classic gem of a dancehall track - which suggests that 'ghetto girls' have the 'wickedest slam' (read greatest ability in the sack).
Dolli gangsta girl by millsydon   


I believe women have always suspected this sort of thinking to be patently false, but were never quite sure just what to believe. Men know the truth but the myth is a great arm-twister to get the wife to do some outrageous stuff in bed she wouldn't ordinarily do.

But seriously, middle-class and uptown women seem to have a healthy disdain for, and fascination with, ghetto girls. The fascination revolves around a species of envy and amusement of these three-cellphone-wearing, loud-talking girls who crave all things 'bling'.

But men...men are a different matter. We love these girls because of their rampant sex appeal which speaks to the core of our keenest evolutionary instincts; they make us feel like MEN, they make us want to mate.

When you see these girls on TV or in dances, they are always in bawdy, X-rated clothes, outrageous hairstyles, and spout a rich cultural lingua borne of the dancehall. And these girls are crazy sexy! It seems that the miracle of evolution gave these girls extra muscles in the gluteus maximus, or equipped them with missing bones in the vertebrae of their spinal column to give them the ability to contort their bodies in fantastic ways.

Most of my friends have gone through a 'ghetto girl phase'. They may not be able to speak about macroeconomics, the war in the Middle East or debate Nietzsche, but they are great conversationalists. If you take the time to listen, they have the most remarkable stories full of intrigue, pain, humour and hope that breathe with the essence of life.

Ghetto girls don't give you a complex, or try to transfer any of their neuroses to you. They don't try to improve you, or play emotional head-games. They are grounded, and you can count on them to be there for you through the good times and the bad. And it helps that they can take care of themselves if you suddenly find yourself in the wrong part of town.

To the majority, money is important to them only if it can get them what they need: better clothes, better homes for their children, or purchase 'better' hair. They don't believe in acquiring money for its own sake. They are easier to figure out, and they want to fulfil a male's most basic needs. They make you feel needed, they are great for massaging the male ego. And of course, ghetto girls are challenging because they're sometimes unpredicatable, and they are always loads of fun.

And you have to be careful, if you mess around, she will cut you, and 'duss out' her matey.

One problem I have with them is that you can't very well see them whenever you want to because of violent flare-ups where they live, and why do they always tend to start sentences with words like 'it's all about me' when they are on-camera? Other annoying little things include the fact that they mess with their hair too much and of course, you can't take them to corporate functions because they may lack 'social graces'. To them, 'ghetto' is not just a place, it's a state of mind. As Sir Rex is fond of saying: 'a buttoo in a Benz is still a buttoo'.

But everything depends on your priorities. If you are the social-climber with an eye on the cushy managerial post, a ghetto girl is not one for you. In that case, you need one of the UWI psycho girls. But this trade off will haunt you in the end.

The UWI psycho girls are the ones who want to objectify their males, viewing them as their 'pet projects' which they can build into corporate stars who can clamber up the social ladder. They are the ones who want to spend precious money on weird, obscure art that looks like scrap metal from an Afghanistan garage sale. The UWI psycho girls delight in playing their silly 'sexual politics' games, and believe they have to always prove they are smarter than men are.

A distinction has to be made though. Not all ghetto girls are skettels, and not all skettels are ghetto girls. The lowest rung on the 'skettel ladder' are occupied by the uptown hybrid ­ the ones who ought to know better because of the social and economic advantages life has afforded them, but become 'skets' just for the sheer hell of it.

Now you know why Beenie Man said: 'Bwoi a ghetto girl mi haffi big up and trust'.

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